To Free the Truth

As much as attention as I paid towards education and self development, surviving each day was my primary focus. At age 16, I was sent to the Garza West Unit, a maximum security intake facility that housed all ages of inmates. The cell block I was placed in was filled with men convicted of every crime from robbery to murder, many of which had been inside multiple times.

It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, seen on t.v., or read about, nothing can prepare you for prison life. All of my father’s horror stories only worked to intensify my fears. As I stepped off the bus, my heart was speeding. Sweat poured down my face. As I entered my cell block, everyone’s eyes were on me, checking out the fresh meat, yet I tried not to convey my fear. Any sign of weakness would be exploited, I was taught. I had to be strong, stand tall, and at all costs, fight back or I’d be eaten alive by the predators. No way could I let that happen. You can’t ask for protection from the guards either because most will tell you to be a man and send you right back to the cell block, then you’re branded a snitch. That’s the last thing you want. A snitch is at the bottom of the hierarchy; they’re treated even worse than child molesters. 

My first day on Garza West Unit a young, muscle-bound black guy in his early 20s approached me, “Say, white boy, you gon’ fight, fuck, or bust a sixty?” 

Translation: I had the choice to fight him, let him have sex with me, or give him $60 worth of commisary. His gold tooth sparkled as he smiled. He clearly thought he had easy prey. He was surprised when my fist landed on his face, but he quickly recovered and sidestepped my next swing before schooling me in the art of prison boxing.  He hammered me, but I got up every time I fell down. That was the key. Had I stayed down and not fought back, I’d have belonged to him. By showing heart and fighting, I gained some respect. Of course, respect is something you have to maintain over and again. But, it’s much easier in here if you have it…unless, of course, you enjoy being sodomized against your will amongst other horrible acts.