To Free the Truth

All I have in this world is my wife…once they banned my wife it was over for me. They’re gonna have to kill me the old fashioned way now. I have no reason to live…

I’m on level 3, the bottom of the barrel, the worst place you can be in prison in the USA. All of these cells are sealed up so we can’t pass things (books, mags, newspapers, etc.) to each other. Even the windows in the doors are covered with Plexiglas so we can’t throw bodily fluids or shoot spears at passers-by. It always smells like smoke from old fires, feces, urine, and pepper spray down here. Most of us are pretty pissed off; some have every reason in the world to be.

It’s 6 a.m. and the newly formed shakedown crew (a.k.a. “terrorist crew”) is at my neighbor’s door banging for him to uncover his window and submit to hand restraints so his cell can be searched. He’s already made it clear that he’s not coming out willingly. After twenty minutes of yelling at him with no response, the lieutenant sprays a full can of gas into his open food tray slot. Five minutes later another can, then another. Still no response. There’s a team of nine men suited up in pads and helmets lined up outside his cage and they all look nervous as does the lieutenant. The gas isn’t working and they know they’ll have to conduct a cell extraction. They also know it won’t be easy. Another can of gas is used as they pull the door open with a come-along (my neighbor had his door blocked off so they couldn’t just open it) and the team runs in on him. Banging and grunts are followed by yelling and a scream. They finally get him out and carry him to medical. The lieutenant comes out with a shank, but no one was stabbed today because the metal folded in on my neighbor as he tried to strike one of the team. They got lucky this time, he says when they bring him back and leave him naked in the cell. 

Fast forward a day. Another cell extraction a few cells down after the inmate refused to give the tray slot at lunch. No shank was used, but they took two minutes getting him out; he put up quite a bit of resistance.

The next day an inmate is carried down here to level 3 for stabbing a sergeant in the forehead with a used hypodermic needle. He says he has at least several forms of Hepatitis. It’s likely they have been passed on to that guard.

Another cell extraction the same day followed by a guy laying on the run and making them carry him to his cell causes the administration to shut down all operations on levels 2 & 3. Lockdown. We eat johnny sacks for several days and don’t get to rec or shower. The administration hopes this calms down the aggressive ones, but it only fuels their fire.

Why are these guys being so violent, you may ask. All except for one has had their parents, wives, children, and other loved ones banned from ever visiting them again. Over 50 people here on death row are experiencing the same treatment. Why? Well, they used illegal cell phones to call their family and friends. Once the phones were recovered, the administration banned the people whose numbers they found on the phones. “You want to talk to your son on death row on the phone?” the administration asked. “Well, you can’t visit them again for doing it” was their response. In my eyes, that’s an extremely harsh punishment for people who only talked to their loved ones that they can’t even touch at visit…people waiting to die. What mother would pass up the chance to talk to her baby boy a few more times before he was taken away from her forever even if it was on a phone illegally smuggled into prison?

So, these guys don’t have anything to lose anymore. They have been sentenced to die (and under law of parties, for crimes they didn’t even commit for some), put on level 3 where they can’t have their property (which isn’t much to begin with–radios, food, even multivitamins), and then the big blow lands: you’ll never see your family again because you called them. “Die alone and broken” is what the administration says.

Forced into a corner with absolutely no incentive to behave, these men try to strike back. Some reason that violence is all the TDCJ understands, which is typically true. I’ve watched guards slap inmates and refuse to feed them…because they knew the inmate wouldn’t react violently. These same guards would never do that to my neighbor who just fought 9 cornbread fed men with a shank. Non-violent inmates are typically shafted by the guards and administration, they’re disrespected and ignored, told to file a grievance about their issues. But once said inmate behaves aggressively and the threat of violence is imminent, then the guards and administration try to act like their buddy. Now they want to listen to the inmate’s issues and help. So again, aggression is conditioned in most here; it’s the only thing that appears to work for a lot of us.

The administration isn’t backing down on this visitation thing, though. If they find your people’s info on a phone, it’s over. The inmates who are fighting back still fight. My neighbor cried to me through the crack in the wall, “Man, all I have left in this world is my wife. She’s been keeping me in check all these years. I don’t care about anything that these people have been doing to us, but once they banned my wife it was over for me. They’re gonna have to kill me the old fashioned way now. I have no reason to live.”

The shakedown crew is also causing many people to react violently. These guards bust into your cell and rummage through all of your property. They read your personal letters, flip through the photographs you have of loved ones, trash your few possessions by tossing items here and there and stomping on it all with dirty boots. It feels as if a tornado has hit your house. That’s no way to search for contraband. It’s blatant disrespect, treating us like animals in the name of security. Is it any wonder that some react aggressively to that? For those of us here, our punishment is death, our life extinguished by the mixture of ingredients used in lethal injections. Our time here  isn’t going to be easy no matter what, but making our lives a living hell comes with a price sometimes.

It’s sort of a catch 22. When the administration or a guard does something against you, you can either accept it and let them run over you–which they will do if you let them–or you can respond aggressively and strengthen the prosecution’s case that you are a future danger to society. Either way, you’re screwed if you’re on death row. The administration knows this. They’re not the ones dealing with the violent responses, the guards do. And many of the guards are so tired of it. Some have quit and I don’t blame them.

The state of Texas is killing us here at a rapid pace. Close to 15 inmates have been executed just in 2009 alone–3 times as many as Maryland has killed in over 30 years. Hope is a fragile thing on Texas death row. For those who have little hope in surviving this experience–such as my neighbor–then a violent reaction is inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. The administration is only asking for trouble when they don’t give such people any incentive to behave. I’m hoping someone in a position of power recognizes this and shows some humanity by lifting the senseless ban on these guys’ family. It’s the right thing to do.